I think its funny that it took me almost dropping out of collage, losing just about everything that i created, and dam near going back on a vow to realize how bad i really wanted to succeed... Business partners, family, just about everyone has let me down in a major way. And through it all i still smiling with that awkward kind of optimism i found in a place where not only my life was in danger, but the future I have yet to realize was thought to be an escape from the harsh reality of that particular present.
Its awe inspiring to actually admit with no regret that the "dope man" inspired me to be a career entrepreneur. Looking back at all the learning experience and individual character building obstacles i have over come to get here... but where would I be with out all the pain and failure that continues to full this passion, no, obsession to make it. its just like I was told it would be; "you need to fail and not be afraid to fail and rebuild in order to do anything worth remembering for all ages." I don't remember who said that but that is an absolute truth in my life.
I believe that the path I am on is not only my own, its on that so many mentors, leaders, and over all influential people who we remember and bring up to prove points have walked in which ever particular direction their dreams lead them. its an honor to be in the middle of the trenches with the basics and my own capabilities and have nothing holding me back. I have done a lot in a very short time; Web Master, Camera Man, Investor, Intern, Student, Sailor, ect... but it all comes down to the next few moves that defines it all.
That's what drives the ambition i have felt every time i have been told "its impossible". then people watch me do it and then tell me how they would have, could have, should have done it... whats worse, a lot of people who are no longer in my circle are doing the same things they have always done... I'm not a rock, there fore I make moves. Can only do what inspires me because without that urge to be great, what are you?
A "pawn". I was taught a a very young age to be a tactician about what i do. The only flaw in my thinking was not having the right people around me in order to execute better than i elaborate. Teaching myself became a common occurrence early because I will never limit myself to someones feeble and fickle and superficial definition of what i should do, how i should speak, act dress, and most of all, live.
People swear they are individuals, but when challenged in the slightest they fold like the paper in their pocket earned from doing as they where commanded... Fuck that... I tried. for a LONG time. and every time, literally every time i was forced to make some insane sacrifice because that what was "best" for me. I know know that was all game. its funny to think about all the artist who "trap" knowing dam well the real trap was when the material and finite became a priority. The best trapper i know is the institution that you pay to dictate what you do like you will is worthless and easily manipulated like the strings where connected to your nervous system.
That is what i believe about a lot of what i have done. They just want to prey on your weakness to establish a sense of dominance. In actuality such is far enough from the case to cause you to squint when you look at the big picture of what you future is being coursed to be. You find a few individuals who are masters at murdering the ambitions of the youth effective enough to be called "successful". I look at these individuals and i just remember hearing more life learned individuals say "if you let them brake you, they will make you into a house of cards..." The metaphor behind that is that of a human enabling another human to be fortified by only that which weakens their inner constitution.
So now that I am much wiser than i was in the initial phases of my career, I will give solutions you can easily execute where others "hope things get better". I will encourage you to question the institutions who will tell you that this is the best course of action and when you reach their interpretation of a "goal", your just food for the predators who attack with relentless viciousness of compound interest rates for your decisions which at the time, where based off a respectable claim from someone in the same spot you are in now.
This is for the "Grinders" who now know better and do better, the future creators from the bottom, the "I'm going to make it or die trying" types like my self who mean it, and above all, we are hard to kill or sway from the light of our own creation. Welcome to the blessing of your real life. So look at that reflection and know that you are successful from now on for the simple fact that you know what its like to fail or be under the thumb of a person, or institution who is created to keep you under control.
Fore under control is where the illusions of safety is best adopted, however liberty of true freedom requires not just blood, but defiance.
-N. Drew
No comments:
Post a Comment